I’d like to tell you a story that will help you understand how some of our feelings of sadness about relationships and our internal sadness (our depression) are related.

Several years ago, you may remember reading about it, (this is a true story), a postman, I think in Pittsburgh, had a fire in his townhouse.  When the firemen broke into his attic where the fire had started, they discovered several tons of undelivered mail sitting on the wiring.

The Postal Service was very curious about what all that mail that belonged to someone else was doing there.  He carefully explained that when he had began working as a postman folks on his route were glad to see him coming.  He would whistle as he came up the walk and they would invite him in for coffee and the relationship was a pleasant one.  They were glad to see him coming.  But, he explained, about the only thing that folks get in the mail anymore is bad news and bills.  “I noticed that they were not so glad to see me, and that made me sad.  I t was getting to where I didn’t like the job.  I’d gotten to know some of the people there very well over the years, and one day as I sorted through the envelopes I saw that some especially bad news was coming to a little old lady of whom I was particularly fond.  I knew that my delivering that mail to her would make her sad that I had come that day.  I decided to spare her that pain and put the letter back in the back of the bag.  She smiled as I came by.  I liked that and decided to offer this same favor to others on the route.  You know, it worked.  There have been a few problems, as you can imagine, but for the most part they are glad to see me again.  I’m enjoying my work again. 

That’s a pretty graphic picture of what depression is.  It is negative mail, usually angry messages, delivered to the wrong address.  For whatever reason, perhaps for the same ones the postman had, we choose not to deliver negative messages that belong to others.  We still have them in our pouch at the end of the day, and in an attempt to forget them, we store them in our attic.  And, just like the postman, when we get enough of them up there, they short out the wiring and burn us out.

Now, there are some relationships in which it’s not possible to deliver all the messages.  Knowing that if we say what we think we will get fired, we may choose not to deliver the mail to the addressee.  If that situation can’t be changed, we need to know that if we don’t do something with the mail besides store it, that it is going to go somewhere and do something to us. (Every time there is a psychic event, psychic energy is generated and is going to go somewhere and do something.)  You may pride yourself in being strong and being able to store bundles of it, but even if this is true, there are more fun things to do with your energy than support an overloaded attic.

Some negative messages belong to us.  When we do something stupid and there’s no one else to blame for the mistake, that mail is addressed to us.  Don’t expect to be depression or anger free.  Both are OK and if managed well can of good things for a relationship you are beginning to form or maintain.

Are you delivering someone else’s negative mail to your attic?

~ Author Unknown