Butterfly Wings

Ok, the more I think about all of this, the angrier I become.  When my [that man] sent that message, he was expecting me to just say, “Oh, ok.  I understand now that abuse is love, and it’s ok because you were trying to keep me from being f***ed up when I got older.”  Well, …
Read more

This morning I received the following e-mails from [that man my mother had me with]: Hi {term of endearment}! I’ts been quite a few years since you’ve been to our house so we were wondering what we’ve done that is so bad you don’t want to see us. As you get older you can look …
Read more

In the past few years, I have made great strides in coming to terms with my experiences as a child, and the effects that they have left behind.  Over time, I have come to understand that many of the things that I believed to be true about myself were incorrect because my perception had been …
Read more

One of the reasons I began my healing journey was because I was consumed with anger against one of my abusers.  Every day, I woke up with the thought of seeing his name in the paper under the obituaries.  I could not reconcile myself with the thought that, while my life had come to a …
Read more

I saw one of my abusers again today.  It just makes me sick how they think, because we are family, that we should just be so nice to each other.  They stole my innocence and act as though nothing is wrong.  I can’t stomach another, “How was your Thanksgiving? Did you go see your Dad?” or …
Read more

Holidays are often the most difficult time of year for survivors.  We are often forced into close proximity to our abusers with little opportunity to express our discomfort because our feelings must be sacrificed for the “greater good” of all involved. This year, I want to help other survivors have happier, healthier holidays.  If you …
Read more

Please do not take this post as someone’s way of forcing their beliefs on others.  I am not here to make you believe what I do or to tell you what to believe.  By sharing my story, I am reaching out.  This is a part of me.  It is what brought me through the darkest …
Read more

Anonymity….it is my saving grace sometimes.  In speaking from the shadows, I am free to say what I truly feel and to place the blame where it belongs. For over ten years, I have been speaking out against abuse and my abusers from the safety of my screen name, Kylee Jones.  Sometimes I do wish …
Read more

Do you ever wonder what it would be like if you could just be you?  Would it be easier than being the faded version of the person that exists deep inside of you? There are times that I wonder if I will ever truly be me again, simply because there are few people who understand …
Read more

For the first time in my life, I told someone that knows my father why I left his house when I was a teen… Bare with me, that one is still one sinking in. This isn’t the first time I have ever told anyone – all my friends know, and I have no problem telling …
Read more