When I started this journey, I choose to write behind the screen name Kylee Jones (Kylee because it’s pretty and Jones for the sake of anonymity) because I wasn’t ready to tell the world about my experiences. I was afraid I would be judged negatively, and only half my family knew my story. I was feared the backlash that telling might cause.
Now I speak my truths openly under my own name, Erin. I am 42, and I work behavioral health. I became a Certified Peer Specialist (CPS) to use my own experiences to help others. I love meeting new people and making friends (even though I sometimes struggle to balance that with social anxiety). My favorite poet is Heinrich Heine. My favorite book is Anne of Green Gables, and I am often much like the starry-eyed, hopeful “Anne girl.” I love rock music, graphic design and spending time with friends.
As a child I dreamed of being the first animal doctor, but then I found out they already had those. I also dreamed of being a princess with two loving parents (who were still married) and lots of brother’s and sisters. I dreamed of being loved and accepted and receiving only a stern “talking to” (followed by a hug) when I did something wrong.
Yet, much like my dream of being the first animal doctor, I found out I would never be a princess, and so faded my dreams.
My name is Erin, and I am a survivor of physical, emotional, and sexual abuse. I used to say my abuse was minor, but I’ve learned, in time, that no abuse is minor. All abuse is relative to the person who experiences it. What matters is not how bad it was, but how it made us feel.
This site is my healing journey. I hope that it will make the path easier for those that walk with me, and those who are to follow. I have but one request in all I say and do,
Please do not let those who hurt you win. Freedom is your goal. Fight for every step. Don’t stop until you reach that place where you know in your heart that you are lovely and that you are loved. When you get there, take a deep breath and drink it all in. How beautiful that day will be!
Thank you for letting me share my life with you. I pray that you will be strengthened by what I have to say, and that you will find healing soon.
All my love,
Where It All Began…
Twenty-one years ago, I began my journey with the following words:
Hi!! I’d like to take a little time to tell you something about myself and explain my reason for creating this page. I am a 21 year old college student who is just kind of going with the flow, trying not to fight the current, and trying not to drown at the same time.
I am a person who values friends and the time that I get to share with them. I am a Christian, and I live by my strong belief that my life is totally chaotic without God’s guidance. I love animals, mainly because they KNOW things, they understand. I’m not very good at talking about myself…
Little did I know then where the road would lead and what God would do in my life. So far, the journey has been amazing. It has often been filled with pain, but I would not trade it for anything. Through it I have learned what it means to be loved. I now know what it is like to be lovely. It’s nice to find that, even though I am may be weak, it is courage that makes one strong.
To those who have signed my guest book, thank you. I am truly touched by your inspiring words. Your words have touched my heart and renewed my soul. The words you have spoken tell me that I have achieved my goal: to help victims of abuse move from lives of shame to lives lived in freedom from the pain.
This is a new beginning, as so many things in the last few years have been. I hope that this site will reach others in a powerful way by sending the message that “You are not alone.” I pray that at least one weary traveler will find the courage and the strength to carry on by reading these words. May someone’s life be changed by these simple offerings.
Once again, I am reminded that God works in mysterious ways.
Lot’s of ((((HUGS))))), prayers, & love,